The Trouble with Fennel

After October 15th, I am hoping to continue blogging about the craziness of life married to Bryan. I'm not really expecting it to be much different from the craziness of life living with Bryan as it stands now, but I just really want to have a blog named, "Life with my Picky-Eater Husband".

I didn't really realize until yesterday the thought that I put into many of our meals because I can't just throw stuff together sometimes because Bryan doesn't like the texture of this or the flavor of that. When we met, Bryan told me he was a "chicken-and-rice-guy". I took this to mean he ate very simply and didn't need gourmet meals or anything to be happy (if you know me, you know I'm the polar opposite). What he actually meant was he ate chicken and rice...virtually every night!!! The other staple of his diet? Canned tuna mixed with pasta, mayonnaise, and green peas. And finally, lunch every day: a sandwich made with either turkey, ham, chicken, or roast beef (no veggies, mustard, mayo, or anything of that nature on the sandwich), baby carrots, and Doritos.

I quickly learned that he, of course, would eat many other things - chicken wings (it is still chicken, though!), pizza (there has to be meat involved with this too), and spaghetti and meatballs. The moral of the story was - if it's meat, it works and to him, it tastes better if it's served with chocolate milk. I never had to worry about whether I wanted ground beef, turkey meatloaf, or a stir fry made with sausage (he agrees to let me stir fry sausage with peppers and eventually learned to eat them - but no onions - EVER!).

The challenge really was in two major realms of food which happen to be my favorites: vegetables and seafood. Seafood to Bryan was canned tuna, but I quickly learned that if he went to restaurants he was open to most types of fish - halibut (his favorite), tilapia, tuna, salmon. So I decided to go for the gold and see if I could get him to eat sushi. The first time we went to my favorite sushi place, Harry and Sons in the Virginia Highlands, Bryan ordered a Thai stir fry. Looking at the rainbow of nigiri and unagi on my plate, he immediately started asking questions...but didn't want to touch anything that involved fish. I could pack it away: eel, salmon, yellowtail, you name it, I'll eat it. But I got him onto California rolls and he especially liked that you could really spice up your soy sauce with wasabi (Bryan will eat anything spicy!).

By the third time we went out for sushi, he took a giant leap: "What if I don't order my own entree and we just get a bunch between the two of us?" If you've ever eaten sushi with me, you'd know I don't love sharing unless you're equally as big an eater because I will want to order everything!!! (And luckily I have some friends that enjoy this as much!) Shockingly, Bryan liked everything we ordered! Now he's a sushi fiend! Apparently enough so that when asked his favorite foods, sushi makes the list!

While he's expanded his horizons on seafood - we routinely eat fish at home that he used to reserve only for special occasions - there are still some limitations (no shrimp, for instance, something that I dearly miss because I don't make it as much as I would if he liked it). But I'll take it. Vegetables are another issue entirely.

I like virtually every type of vegetable possible. I will cook them every which way - sauteed, grilled, roasted, blanched, you name it. Shocking that in addition to chicken and rice, Bryan usually didn't bother to make himself a vegetable when cooking ("but I eat carrots at lunch! Every day!" was his defense). I am notorious for pasta dishes with 4 or 5 different veggies in them - just call me Jamie Oliver! They're so simple and need only a bit of garlic and olive oil, maybe some grated asiago cheese for great flavor. For the past two years, I had been limited to broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots. Sometimes I can get Bryan to be willing to switch up the rice for potatoes - sweet potatoes (mashed, baked, or in strips to make fries), roasted or mashed red or white potatoes - so he'll get another veggie in that way. When I started adding bell peppers to our stir fries I was pleasantly surprised that he would eat them. He also became a huge fan of grilled or raw tomatoes which I slice up and marinate with garlic, olive oil, and herbs. Roasted asparagus with balsamic vinegar? He'll eat it! So I'd like to take credit for introducing Bryan to some delicious veggies. But the Holy Grail remains: the onion.

Almost every dish that gets served to Bryan is thoroughly inspected - this is because he figured out that sometimes I'd sneak onions into things by chopping them up really really small. I am sorry, you can NOT have tacos with meat that has not been sauteed with onions! I'm pretty sure that's against the law! He will actually tell servers at restaurants that he is allergic. One of my favorite things in all of the world is caramelized onions. I like them on pizza, on steak, in omelettes and grilled veggie wraps - they're good all the time. When I found a beautiful recipe for Brie and Caramelized Onion-Stuffed Chicken, I couldn't take it anymore. Where could I possibly get an earthy delicious caramelized flavor without using onions in this recipe??? I started searching for substitutions and found a great suggestion online: fennel.

I've only ever known fennel as anise which is served at an Italian Christmas Dinner. Always intrigued growing up, sometimes I'd crunch into it if my Mom was eating it. I thought it smelled funny. Now I love it - especially roasted. Normally Bryan eats a bit or two of it, then pushes the rest around his plate. But last night I made an amazing whole wheat fettucini tossed with roasted fennel, cherry tomatoes, freshly shredded carrots, garlic, asiago cheese, and topped with grilled salmon. I thought the dish was delicious. In fact as I write this, I'm starting to SERIOUSLY look forward to eating the remainder for lunch. Bryan, in his usual form, pushed the fennel around on the plate. I told him it doesn't offend me, but I just don't UNDERSTAND. I asked if I needed to season it differently, I even asked if wanted me to POUR SUGAR ON IT?!?! He said, "Well, it looks like an onion...It's nothing you're doing wrong or how you're making it. I just don't know, I'll eat a piece, but it looks like an onion...gross".

And I waved the white flag on fennel.

R.I.P. Fennel in the Hoey/Soon-to-be-Hoey household. Enjoy your place with Eggplant, Onions, Artichokes, Spinach (and all greens), Mushrooms, and Brussels Sprouts in the collection of things that Bryan will not touch. (Just writing that made me want to weep.)

On the bright side, I think this is good practice for having children and there have been some small victories over the past 2 1/2 years (bell peppers and sushi!). Out of all of the things I hope our kids inherit from Bryan - his hair, eyes, freckles, hearing and vision - I genuinely hope our kids inherit my taste buds. But I am aware there is the chance that if Daddy won't eat it, neither will they (I actually didn't know my own father didn't like eggplant until Grandma came to live with us! Chances are if my Mom had made it and I had seen my Dad not eat it, I don't know that I would've been open to it as a kid.). And don't worry, even though the list of things Bryan won't eat is quite long, I routinely make myself some kick-butt lunches and stuff myself blind at dinner with all types of wonderful things when Bryan is out of town (case in point, I just recently tried Swiss Chard - my God, is it good).

I'm sure this blog has given you insight you were craving on Bryan's eating habits (and some of my cooking habits!). The bright side of reading the whole blog is the news that you can have as much cake as you want at the wedding - we certainly won't want to bring it home - Bryan doesn't eat sweets!!!